Do you admit it to people? Do you not? This is the question I asked myself all the time. Should I tell people and risk judgment? Do I try to help people? This was so hard. I don’t know why, but when it comes to motherhood, I am terrified of being judged. I felt like I had to explain myself to everyone in order for them to understand why I was behaving the way I had been. At first, I would tell people I had “postpartum issues.” I would never say postpartum OCD. I did not want to be labeled. It just made me feel sad sharing that with everyone. The look of disappointment and the “oh you poor thing,” really got to me.

Once I got into therapy, I learned that I do NOT owe anyone an explanation about what I was going through. I do not have to tell people I have postpartum OCD if I don’t want to. The reason I am choosing myself to share my experience is because I want to help other moms who are going through the same thing. You do NOT have to tell anyone what you are experiencing if you do not want to share. What you choose to share with other people is your business.

One thing I don’t think people realize is how words and judgements can hurt. Admitting something as serious as postpartum OCD is scary enough, but then to hear someone say something negative about it hurts even more. If someone were to come up to me and admit they had some kind of struggle, especially with a mental illness, I would hope I would be compassionate and understanding. Have the courage to admit that is a sign of strength. I think people judging is a sign of weakness on their part.

In therapy, I learned that how I view myself is what is most important. For some reason, admitting to myself I had postpartum OCD was the hardest. I didn’t want to admit I had been dealing with a mental illness, but I am. I hope if you are reading this, you will decide to do what is best for you with telling people about your diagnosis. The postpartum “issue,” as I called it for so long, does not define you as a mother, or a person. I hope sharing my story will help you with your journey. Whatever you choose to do with your diagnosis is your business. Do what makes YOU happy and no one else.