I am so sick of my life being controlled by my OCD. Postpartum OCD tried to control my journey as a mom. It tried to tell me to be afraid of my life, my daughter, and myself. That is not fair to me. Postpartum OCD almost took me down, but it didn’t. I got back up again and picked up the pieces. There were a lot more this time.

I am so tired of literally anyone and anything tell me how to live my life. The problem was my OCD created so much fear, self-doubt, and negative self-talk that I allowed myself to be controlled by other people and my mental illness. I have been such a mess for so many years that I literally could not make one single decision for myself. I let everyone around me do that.

I couldn’t make any decisions about my career, family, or how I lived for myself. It had to be done for me because I wanted to feel certain about each choice. The lessons I have learned through this experience have taught me that absolute certainty will never happen, and that is ok. That is the beauty of life. It takes you in so many different directions and down so many paths that you never expected. If someone had told me a year ago. that I would be dealing with postpartum OCD and have my whole world turned upside down, I never would have believed them. That is just the cards I have been dealt, and that is okay.

I have slowly but surely gained my life and self-confidence back. I am learning how to make decisions for myself and my family on my own. I have to do what makes ME happy and no one else. Other people will no longer be deciding what I am and am not capable of doing. I will be doing what I want and make that choice for myself. I hope that if your experience with postpartum OCD or OCD has led you down a similar path as me, that you will learn to trust your own opinion. You deserve to do what makes you happy and live your best life.