Triggers are the bane of my OCD existence. I literally hate them. Anything can trigger my feelings of worrying that I will hurt someone, specifically my daughter. I didn’t even know what an OCD trigger was until I started going to therapy last fall. I didn’t realize that there could be things that make you remember your intrusive thoughts or bring up your fears from OCD.

Apparently avoiding certain things with your OCD means it is a trigger. One of my earliest triggers that I didn’t even notice was watching true crime. I started avoiding watching my favorite true crime shows last fall. I loved true crime. To this day I cannot watch any shows about murdering because it is a trigger to me. In therapy, I learned that I might not ever be able to watch true crime again. I guess that is a small price to pay for surviving postpartum OCD.

One of my favorite routines in the morning used to be having a coffee while reading Daily Mail, until that became a trigger. Every day on the Daily Mail I would see an article about a mom killing their child, and it made me sick. To this day I cannot hear anything about this topic. It is a major trigger for me with postpartum OCD. As I have gotten better with my OCD, I still can’t shake the fears from these triggers. I wish I could just say those are terrible things and move on, but my OCD forces me to obsess over it.

I have been trying to test myself lately to see if I still get triggered. I was trying to read “scary” articles and watch true crime to see if it would trigger me. The answer is, yes it does, even though I am in a very healthy place now. Just because I am healthy doesn’t mean I should willingly put myself in a situation that might trigger my OCD fears. If you are a person struggling with postpartum OCD, I would say do NOT try to force yourself to get over your fears and triggers. It is going to take time, and that is okay. We are all human beings and can only take so much.