Having postpartum OCD can make it challenging to know what is best for your baby sometimes. I constantly question every single decision I make as a mom and want others to reassure my choices. Living like that though is not healthy. I am a 28 year old responsible, perfectly capable mom of making my own decisions about my baby. This is so much easier said than done. Sometimes I think if I say that enough I will wish it into existence.

Lately, I have been at a crossroads with setting boundaries with my family and making the best decision for Caia. I love my family more than anything, but sometimes they do not make the best choices with their behavior. It is something I don’t want my daughter to be around growing up and thinking it’s okay. The problem is I hate setting boundaries with my family. I don’t want to have to do that. Unfortunately, I can’t change them though. They are allowed to live their lives how they want to, but I have to do what is best for Caia.

I would never intentionally want to hurt someone that I love. However, I am in such a different place than most of my family. I am the only one of my siblings with a baby. I have to make sure I am making the most responsible, healthy choice for Caia. I can’t just think about me anymore. I want my little girl to grow up in a the healthiest, happiest place that she can. Sometimes when we have to make those choices, it will hurt other people.

If there is anything I learned from having postpartum OCD is that I have to be confident in myself and my choices. My daughter is the number one most important person in my life, and she deserves for her mom to give her everything she can. I intend to do that. I know that sometimes I will make mistakes, as all humans do, but as moms we know what is best for our babies. We have to be their voices and make the best choices.