I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my time with postpartum OCD lately. This time last year was when my postpartum OCD symptoms hit their highest peak. I was very scared to make it to the month of October, because I was worried I would be reminded of what I went through last year. The truth is, I have been reminded, but this year is different for me. I am not the same person I was a year ago. The difference from this year compared to last year is that I have awareness of postpartum OCD. I had zero awareness last year.

Last year, as I was going down the rabbit hole of my intrusive thoughts and panic attacks, I kept wondering what was going on with me. I had no idea what I was experiencing. I just felt like I was going crazy. Not being able to be alone with your daughter definitely isn’t normal. I knew that at the time; I just had no idea what to do or how to fix it. Basically, I had just accepted that this was my new life now. My “new life” was not sustainable though. I couldn’t continue to go back and forth between my parents’ house and mine. My mom couldn’t continue to sleep over every night. Something had to change.

Therapy changed my life in so many amazing ways. I learned all about Postpartum OCD and how it was able to take complete control of my life. My therapist taught me everything about Postpartum OCD, including the tools necessary to start taking my life back. Each time I used one of the tools I learned in therapy, I became more aware of Postpartum OCD. Becoming aware of what I was dealing with changed my life for the better. Knowing that my symptoms had a diagnosis and treatment plan to get better made all the difference. It gave me hope.

Postpartum OCD will leave a mark on your heart forever. If you have been through it, you know that it is true. It changed me forever. Luckily, now, I can say it was for the best. Knowledge is power. I am a firm believer in that statement. If I didn’t gain the knowledge I needed about my Postpartum OCD, I know that my life could be completely different now. Awareness of Postpartum OCD is a game changer. That is why education on this subject is vital. No mom deserves to feel how I felt a year ago. We need more awareness of Postpartum OCD.