If I let myself, I can constantly live in the past. Remembering all of the bad things that happened to me is my specialty. The problem is, it makes me feel really bad about myself. Unfortunately due to my OCD, it can be almost impossible to stop. Everyone in life has negative experiences. It is what we do with them that can help change our narrative for the better.

Something I have really struggled with lately is living in the past with my postpartum OCD experience. Since this time of year is really triggering for me, it is so easy for me to remember everything I went through. Once I get to that head space, sometimes it can be difficult to get out of the thoughts. I started getting angry that I had postpartum OCD. The amount of stress and pain I felt from postpartum OCD can make me really upset if I let myself think about it too long.

The past is the past. I know that my postpartum OCD experience happened. That will never change. What I do with that experience in the present time and future is what matters. I know that I have been forever changed by what I went through. It isn’t all bad though. I have learned so much about myself and have made great positive changes to my life. Those changes would not have happened in my life if I didn’t have postpartum OCD.

I would not wish postpartum OCD on anyone. However, if you asked me if I could go back in time and make it so that it didn’t happen to me, I would say no. I know that it sounds crazy, but for some reason I feel that postpartum OCD was supposed to happen to me for a reason. Because of this diagnosis, I found out that I had OCD my whole life. I learned how to set boundaries in my life, and I became a much stronger person and better mom. Every time I start to think about how negative that experience was in my past, I try to remember how much better I am now in the present. Don’t let the past get in the way of living your best life.