When I gave birth to Caia, I was not prepared for the postpartum phase at all. I had never heard anything about it at any of my prenatal appointments. I know this is really naive, but I just assumed I would go home and would return to normal. No one told me I would be bleeding or be in diapers myself for weeks. When the nurses handed me the postpartum supplies, I was very confused. I wish so badly that I had been better prepared for the first time I gave birth, because I feel like my mental health would have been better.

I tried desperately to go back to my old life after Caia was born. People I talked to told me I would lose the baby weight so fast. When I didn’t, I started to panic. I could not accept my new postpartum body. I took it upon myself to start exercising within two weeks while I was still bleeding. Looking back, that was terrible. I should have never done that. Not being able to recognize my body was just another change that I was not prepared to deal with at the time. I went to the extreme of trying to do 10,000 steps every single day. Not only did that not help me lose weight, but I got zero rest. It took a toll on my mental health very quickly, and I didn’t even realize it.

Because of what I went through with Caia, I decided to completely change how I handled the postpartum period with Emmi. I am taking the full six weeks to rest. I haven’t exercised at all except for small walks and household chores. This time, I am not putting any pressure on myself to lose the weight fast. Last time, I was so worried what everyone would think of my new body. Now, I am trying to see it as I was able to carry a baby for nine months to give birth to a healthy baby. I am also trying to rest as much as I can because I am up a lot at night with Emmi and still have to be present for Caia during the day.

The postpartum period is an out-of-body experience for every mom. So many changes happen to our bodies during our pregnancies. We shouldn’t expect ourselves to go back to our pre-pregnancy bodies because the truth is, we were pregnant and that isn’t going to change. I am learning to appreciate my new body and love myself for it, stretch marks and all. What is most important to me right now is taking care of my daughters, myself, and my mental health. Stressing myself out by worrying about my body is only going to make it worse for me to protect my mental health. Give yourself the time to rest postpartum because it will be better for you in the long run. The stress isn’t worth it.