I asked this question to my therapist almost weekly for the longest time. Why can’t I just be a normal human that has no postpartum issues, especially not postpartum OCD. I wanted so badly to have the best experience as a mom, and I did not get that in the beginning. Before I started getting treatment for postpartum OCD, I would see other moms out in public, or on tv, and just be so jealous of their happiness. They looked like the perfect moms. I wanted that for myself. To me, normal moms didn’t have to obsessively worry about their child’s well being. Normal moms didn’t have to hide from their own child and have a “babysitter” to watch them be a parent at all times. Normal moms didn’t have panic attacks in the middle of the night worrying they might hurt their child.

It took me months of therapy to learn that there is no such thing as a normal mother. Everyone is a great mom in their own way. Yes, I struggle with severe postpartum OCD, but it does not take away from my ability to be the best mom I can be to my daughter, Caia. What is normal anyway? Everyone has their own issues. Mine just happens to be postpartum OCD. I wasn’t normal before postpartum OCD, and I am not normal now. I am just Caroline. Caroline, the girl who likes to help other people. Caroline, the girl who loves her family. Caroline, the girl who became a teacher and quit to raise her daughter. Caroline, the girl who loves reality tv. Caroline, the girl who struggles with postpartum OCD. I am just a person like everyone else with my own issues. I do not need to be jealous of other moms because they have their own struggles just like me. You do not need to be jealous of other moms either. Remember, everyone has their own struggles with motherhood, and we are all doing the best we can to raise our children. You are a fabulous mother to your child no matter what issues are experiencing. Do not forget that!