There is nothing that makes you feel more powerless than OCD, specifically postpartum OCD. I completely lost my entire self-identity to my postpartum OCD. There was nothing harder than having one of my OCD episodes surround my own child. With my other OCD episodes I didn’t have the responsibility of taking care of a child while trying to get over them. Taking care of someone else plus having OCD is just the worst experience that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone else.

When I finally started my treatment, I learned very quickly that in order to be happy, I had to regain control and power over my life. That was not an easy task since I had been sick with OCD for basically my entire life without treatment. I started with very small steps each week in therapy to try to regain my power and control. I am still working on it now, but I have mostly regained control of my life. I am going to share with you guys 5 tips on how to regain your power with OCD/postpartum OCD.

ONE: Stop caring what other people think about you. This is my number one tip and something I have struggled with my entire life. One of my main underlying fears with OCD is disappointing people. In order to prevent that, I will do anything to make sure they think I am the perfect person. You can probably see why this was causing me so much stress. There is no perfect person. The only opinion that should matter of you is yours. Don’t let what other people say about you bother you. If you like who you are, that is all you need.

TWO: Do what makes you happy. This is another tip I struggle with daily myself. In order to avoid disappointing people in my life, I would be available to anyone and everyone for anything they would need. This was usually at the expense of my own happiness. I felt stretched so thin because I was constantly trying to please others and make them happy. My therapist helped me realize that I need to make myself and my daughter happy and not worry about how others felt. This is something that takes a lot of practice, at least for me anyway. I was always worried if I didn’t help others all the time, they wouldn’t help me. My suggestion would be to start small. Maybe if someone asks you to go somewhere that you don’t want to, don’t. Something as small as that can make a huge difference.

THREE: Make your own decisions. Making your own decisions with OCD is probably one of the hardest tasks. I am 28 years old, and I would have to ask every person in my life before I made a decision. That included when I should have kids, choices about work, and also decisions on raising my child. I needed to be reassured with every move I made so that I hopefully could avoid making the wrong one. However, 100% certainty is NEVER possible. My therapist helped me realize that I am a perfectly smart, capable adult of making my own decisions. I had to start small practicing with this as well. I was not allowed to ask other people to reassure me when I would make a choice about something. Try it. It is difficult at first, but it gets easier. I love making my own decisions now.

FOUR: Realize you can only control yourself. You probably know if you have OCD how hard it is to not try to control other people. OCD is all about having certainty and control. I wanted to be able to control everyone in my life because I always thought I knew what was best for them. The hard truth is I only know what is best for me and my daughter. It is not my place to tell anyone how to live their lives. I felt powerless with the people in my life because so many things were happening out of my control, and it made me upset and angry. Once I started trying to focus only on myself and my family, I felt my power come back a little bit.

FIVE: Finally, never stop believing in yourself. I lost the faith in myself a long time ago sadly. I felt so out of control with my OCD that I completely doubted every single thing I did. This created so much stress in my life. I should have been my number one supporter, but instead I was my number one enemy. I spoke to myself so negatively and gave myself no credit. When in reality, I have actually accomplished a lot in my life. OCD tries to take your good experiences away from you. My advice is to try to think of three good things about yourself each day. Believing in yourself can give you so much power and control to your life.

Every person living with OCD/postpartum OCD deserves to regain power and control of your life. Nothing is worse than giving your power up to others when you shouldn’t. OCD’s number one goal is to make you doubt yourself. Try to remember you are an amazing person and have accomplished a lot in your life, and you did that all while dealing with OCD.