When you are a new mom, that is one of the most fragile states to be in your life. The only way I can describe early postpartum is just hell. It is a terrible time. I remember going to the hospital, giving birth, then coming home to no sleep, rest and also in a diaper myself. It was an emotional rollercoaster that was hard to leave. I did not recognize myself for months after Caia was born.

It was so easy for me to start comparing myself to other moms in the early postpartum phase. I remember some thoughts I had were “other moms are so happy,” “other moms immediately bond with their babies,” “other moms love being a mom right away.” I had so many more like this. Once I started thinking these thoughts, then it was hard for me to be happy. I was stuck thinking that I was a terrible mom because I didn’t feel as good as “other moms.”

Who are “other moms” anyway? I always would say “other moms,” but I never really had a concrete example of who those moms were. I just knew that there had to be “other moms” that were more amazing than I was, and that didn’t struggle at all. The truth of the matter is everyone struggles with motherhood. No matter how prepared you think you are, motherhood is a whole other beast. It requires us to make so many sacrifices and changes for our babies. Those changes are hard, no matter what anyone says.

Comparing ourselves to “other moms” is never going to make us satisfied. Doing this only made me miserable. I felt for a long time that I didn’t deserve to be a mom and that “other moms” were way better than me. I learned in therapy that is not true. I am the BEST mom for my baby, and so are you! Every mom has struggles, no matter what they say. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world, and we have to be kind to ourselves. Do not compare yourself to other moms because that will only create more pain. No mom deserves to feel like they are not good enough.