I am not going to lie. I am guilty of placing a stigma on SSRI’s myself. When I was going through my struggles of postpartum OCD, I was terrified of taking medicine. I thought my brain would be changed forever. I also heard about all of the potential side effects, and that scared me. However, I finally got to a point where I knew something was seriously wrong, and I had to consider taking an SSRI.

When I went to my OBGYN, I was prescribed Zoloft first. They told me it was completely safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding, so of course, I thought that was the best option. I only took it for five days. Within those five days, I experienced crazy side effects. My teeth would randomly clench, I had terrible anxiety, and many panicking moments. I felt like something was off, so I decided to stop taking it. In that moment, I felt hopeless because it had taken a lot for me to even attempt an SSRI.

A couple of weeks later, I was still continuing to struggle. I felt like I needed to see my regular doctor this time. I knew I was struggling with some sort of OCD by this point. My primary care doctor wanted me to be on Lexapro because people in my family were, and it worked for them. Then, she didn’t see it on the list for treating OCD, so instead, I was prescribed Prozac. I never felt the way I did while taking Prozac. I became completely suicidal. I didn’t want to be here anymore. That was so weird to me, because I had never felt that way before.

I took Prozac for almost two weeks before I realized that something was wrong with it for me. I went back to my primary care physician, who then realized that Lexapro actually was used to treat OCD. Finally I had found the SSRI that worked for me. I had minimal side effects with this one. I have currently been taking Lexapro for over a year now. I have noticed a huge change within myself. My anxiety is not nearly as bad as it was, and I feel like I can manage hard things that happen to me so much better.

I know that there is a lot of fear and stigma placed on taking SSRI’s. Like I said before, I thought there was too. I was so afraid for the change that it would cause me by taking one. However, I now know that I am just the type of person that needs an SSRI. I am actually a much better version of myself that I was before. I handle life’s hard moments so much better now. If I had known Lexapro would help me this much in my life, I would have done it much sooner. Sometimes we just have to try out the different options before we find the one that works for us. I hope that if you’re seeing this, you will consider the benefits to an SSRI. The pros definitely outweigh the cons.