I remember sitting in my classroom, googling, “what can I do with a teaching degree?” I felt so stuck in my career. Being a teacher was not at all what I expected. I loved the kids; they were never the problem. It was everything else. I had no freedom in what I taught, there were constant demands from the administration, and I felt like I had no control over how I got to run my classroom. Teaching during the Covid pandemic really opened my eyes to how little control I had as a teacher. To be honest, I was miserable. I went home crying more times than I could count. I felt like I had to accept that this was my life because that was the degree I chose to get.

In a way, postpartum OCD saved me. I had to go through that horrible time to get to where I really wanted to be in my life. I would always tell my husband and family that I wanted to be my own boss and own my business, but I never knew how to get there. Experiencing postpartum OCD as severely as I did helped me see my true passion: helping other moms. I became a teacher because I knew I wanted to help children learn, so I still feel like I get to do that with moms. I know from experience that perinatal mental health disorders can happen to anyone. The postpartum period is a very vulnerable time with a lot of life changes that comes with it, so I wanted to help educate moms on what could happen.

Weirdly enough, my business idea started two years ago when I was watching the song “Be a Man” off of Mulan with Caia. As I was listening to the song with my daughter, I kept wondering why I never saw anything about postpartum OCD. I was so alone when it happened to me, and I didn’t want other moms to feel the way that I did. That is when I decided to create my blog. I was hoping my blog would be a way to raise awareness to what I experienced for other moms. I based the name of my blog off of my fabulous golden retriever, Hugs. He was there for me during that horrible time in my life, and I wanted him to be part of this next phase. I created my TikTok and Instagram accounts to help raise awareness for postpartum OCD and tried to post everyday.

With my unhealthy OCD behaviors, it is very easy for me to talk to myself negatively. Putting my experience and story out there was very scary for me, but I felt that it was important to help other moms like me. There were times I would sit there and wonder if it was worth it for me to do my blog, but I decided I am not giving up on myself as I have in the past. I believe in this cause so strongly that I want to see it through. I have kept my blog up for two years posting weekly. Then I decided I wanted to try to turn my blog into a book, and that was how I was able to write Set Free From Postpartum OCD. I also created a daily journal for moms to process their feelings called Set Free: A Healing Journal for Moms Navigating OCD, Anxiety, and Motherhood. Even if no one reads them or buys them, that was a huge accomplishment for me.

Finally, I decided to actually turn my postpartum OCD education into a business. I applied for a LLC as hugsformoms, and I got it. I never thought I could be here in my life. Even if it never turns into anything, I am so proud of what I have done, because I am doing something completely outside of my comfort zone. My OCD doesn’t typically allow that. Even though living through postpartum OCD was terrible, it has made my life so much better. I am much happier now than I ever was before being diagnosed with OCD. I always have been afraid of what everyone else thinks of me, but what really matters is what I think of myself. No matter what, I am choosing to never give up on myself.