This past weekend I had my postpartum doula training, and it was fabulous. I learned so much and cannot wait to start my doula work. One of the most profound takeaways from my doula training was learning that “acknowledgment is key.” Being able to hear moms express what they have experienced whether it relates to a birth story, mental health, newborn experiences, or feeding. Moms just want to be heard. I truly felt that in my soul. For a mom to be able to share their story, and have someone say, “I hear you,” truly means the world to those sharing.

There was nothing more that I wanted during my experience of severe postpartum OCD for someone to acknowledge my experience. In the beginning, I was mostly met with “you have so much to be happy about, your baby is the best thing to ever happen to you, other people have it so much worse,” etc. While those that said that to me meant well, those responses were incredible invalidating to me. I felt completely alone and that I was the worst mother because none of those statements were how I felt at the time.

I started to feel like my feelings were very wrong, so I began to internalize my feelings and thoughts. I knew if I shared to anyone how I was truly feeling that I would be shamed or even worse, I thought I could lose my baby. As time went on, keeping my story inside was not working. When I decided to share my story with my family, I did not get the reaction I was praying to get. My mom and dad both looked at me like I was a monster, and they told me to keep my feelings to myself. That only made me feel worse. I wanted nothing more than for my parents to tell me that they acknowledged my story, and that I would be okay.

Just to be clear, I am not blaming my parents for their reaction. I totally understand their concern when I expressed the nature of my intrusive thoughts. However, knowing what I know now, being acknowledged would have helped me feel more comfortable to reach out for treatment. In my doula journey that I am embarking on, I intend to give moms everything I did not get when sharing my story. I want moms to feel completely heard and supported no matter what they share with me. Truly, I want every mom to feel safe, heard and supported on their postpartum journey. Acknowledgement truly is key.