I will never be perfect, and that’s okay. I used to never be able to say that about myself, but postpartum OCD changed so much about me. I do not want to be tied to the word “perfect” anymore; it just brings me down. Striving to be perfect is setting myself up for failure, and I don’t want to live my life like that anymore.

Lately, I have been kind of having a rough time. My grandma has been in and out of the hospital, and I feel powerless to help her. We are really close, and this has been really hard for me. Having that huge stressor right now makes all the smaller life stressors more magnified. Little things that happen set me off much more easily than they would have before my grandma was in the hospital.

Last week, Caia fell and fractured her arm. She has been in a cast, which has also been a challenge. Caia has been much more emotional as well, and I don’t blame her with everything that is going on right now. She’s been very clingy to me, screaming, crying, and just not listening. I have tried to keep my patience throughout this time, but it has been really hard. I have yelled a couple of times. It makes me sad to even admit that, but it’s true. All I can do is apologize and remind Caia I love her no matter what.

I know that I am not the perfect person, and I never will be. I am trying my best every single day. We all go through hard times in life, and we have to give ourselves grace. No mom can keep their patience at all times. Before postpartum OCD, I would have never forgiven myself for yelling at Caia, but now I can. That is huge progress for me. We just have to get through the hard times and appreciate the good ones. I will always keep trying my best with my life and my daughters.