Becoming a mom in 2022 really set me on the path to an identity crisis that I was not expecting I would experience. I learned that I truly had no idea who I was, and I really struggled with that. Going from being yourself to a mom 24/7 is a huge life change that is really hard to prepare for, no matter how hard you try. Looking back, it was something that I truly needed to happen to my life to get me where I am now, but in the moment it was one of the worst experiences in my life. I have learned that growth doesn’t happen without great change, so I have tried to embrace that.

This past weekend, I attended the Postpartum Support International Conference in New Orleans. I had a blast. As I was there, I started to remember what I used to be like before being a mom. It was a surreal/weird experience. All I have known since 2022, is being a mom. I am Caroline, the mom. All. Day. Everyday. That is my most worn “hat” so to speak, and my most comfortable role in life. I had completely forgotten what it was like to be Caroline, the individual person. I really didn’t even know what to do with myself at first.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely missed my girls with all of my heart. I desperately wanted to hug them, but it was nice to just be me for a few days. For the first time in three years, I laughed, danced, and got to hang out with people like my old self. I was so relieved to realize that some of the “old” Caroline was still inside of me. Since having postpartum OCD, I made a lot of positive changes within myself, but I wasn’t all bad. I was so happy to realize that the good parts of the old me were still there.

What I learned from attending this conference is that it is vital that moms still get time to be the person they were before kids. It is healthy to be able to take breaks, and honestly, good for the soul. I always wondered who I would be when I was without my girls, and I was just so thankful I was still inside. Postpartum OCD changed me, but the parts I liked are still there. I also learned that no matter what, I want to be myself around my girls. I am still a human that is learning like they are, and they deserve to see that. I am so thankful I got to be myself for a few days.