To be heard and validated is something I have always wanted. I didn’t know that until I got diagnosed with postpartum OCD. It has been really challenging for me to trust myself in my life because I felt that my feelings were wrong. I know that it was not done intentionally by anyone. This was something I have had to work on within myself to validate my own feelings and trust myself more. I began this work in therapy for postpartum OCD, but it is something I struggle with to this day.

What happened to me this week is a perfect example of my behavior. I am just going to be honest; I have really struggled with my weight since Emmi was born in April of 2024. I breastfed her for 14 months, until last June. I have Hashimoto’s, a thyroid autoimmune disease, which I have struggled with since I was a teenager. For some reason, when I stopped breastfeeding, my weight just kept creeping higher. I have done everything to try to lose weight, dieting, exercise, you name it. It is honestly one of my biggest insecurities right now, and sometimes I am even embarrassed to go out in public. I want my old body back.

Back to my behavior, the other day I was visiting a relative, who says “Caroline, can you walk to get my mail? You could use some exercise.” I just snapped. I was so angry and upset. Hearing someone comment on something I am extremely insecure about ruined my entire week. I went home and cried for days. I felt so ugly. My mind instantly goes to, “someone said that to you, it must be true.” Then I start believing it as truth, which is the old pattern of the unhealthy version of me. Words hurt, and I wish people could understand that. I haven’t visited this person since, and I am just not doing it anymore.

What I have learned from this situation is that I need to stop letting what others say about me affect my life. I can’t change what people say to me, but I can change how I respond to the comments. I will no longer be putting myself in situations where I feel unhappy. I deserve to be in places where I am respected and treated with kindness. While my weight is a struggle right now, I know it is not permanent. I gave birth to two human beings, breastfed for 14 months, and have a thyroid condition that makes it really challenging to lose weight. As much as that comment hurt, I want to seek validation from within myself.