Nothing hurts me more than when I found out someone does not like me. I would sit there and try to figure out what is wrong with me that caused that person to have an issue with me. So many times, I have tried to change myself to fit what other people want me to be because I desperately wanted to be liked. I have tried minimizing my personality, silencing my voice, and molding myself to be what the person I am around needs. Trying to change myself to fit others’ needs has only made me miserable because sometimes the changes don’t work anyway. Sometimes, people still don’t like me, no matter what I do.

Having postpartum OCD really made me feel like I needed to change myself. I doubted everything about me: from my ability as a mom to what kind of person I was. I was convinced I was a monster and no one liked me, not even my own baby. It was a very lonely space for me to live. My therapist helped me see that I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I kept thinking to myself that I wish I could be, because the rejection I feel if someone doesn’t like me hurts. However, I learned there is nothing more important than being myself in relationships. The right people will love me for who I am.

So many times I have silenced my voice or how I am feeling because I was terrified if I shared my true feelings I would not be liked. It turns out, people still won’t like me regardless if I share my feelings about something or not. I would much rather be my true, authentic self than minimize my feelings anymore to please others. It is not a healthy way for me to live. Nor do I want my daughters to grow up seeing me act that way. I have felt more free in the last couple years than I ever have because I have been able to be myself.

It turns out my therapist was right, I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I am more okay with that now than I was when she first told me. Instead of melting down and obsessing over how I can change myself, when someone tells me they don’t like me, I focus on the good people I have in my life. I have an amazing husband, two daughters and beautiful golden retriever. I have so many people in my life to be thankful for, and that is where I should put my time and energy. The people who don’t like me don’t deserve any of my time. Don’t let someone not liking you stop you from living your life. The right people will stay.