It may seem weird to say that. Postpartum OCD was a horrible life experience for me, but it also changed my life completely for the better. When you’re in the thick of a challenging life moment, it’s hard to see the other side. Living through postpartum OCD taught me so much about myself; things I would have never known if I didn’t experience this diagnosis.

Before my postpartum OCD diagnosis, I had a really hard time trusting myself and my own decisions. I always wanted to live my life so I wouldn’t disappoint anyone. It turns out, that was miserable for me. I was already unhappy in my career as a teacher before I became a mom. The thought of me not using my teaching degree made me feel like I would really disappoint my parents. I spent a lot of my time in therapy trying to decide how to make myself happy in my career. In the end, I chose to leave teaching, and that was the best decision I ever made. Having postpartum OCD gave me the confidence to do that.

Another way I have changed for the better is learning how to manage my OCD. Accepting that I have anxiety and OCD was a huge step towards happiness. Before, I thought my anxiety and OCD was just how I had to live, even though I suffered greatly. I was terrified of taking an SSRI because I thought that meant something was really wrong with me. It turns out I am so much happier now that I take Zoloft. My anxiety and OCD is much easier to manage, and I feel so much more like myself. The only regret I have is that I wish I would have started an SSRI sooner.

Before my experience with postpartum OCD, I cared very deeply about other people’s opinions of me. If I felt like I was disappointing someone or someone that they would think badly of me, I would do anything to change myself. I should have never done that. Embracing who I am and living my life for me is one of my greatest gifts that postpartum OCD gave me. I was terrified of starting my blog and social media accounts about postpartum OCD. I thought I would disappoint my parents. Starting my accounts and blog changed my life completely. I have been given so many amazing opportunities because I had the courage to step outside of my comfort zone. Gaining that confidence never would have happened if I hadn’t gone through postpartum OCD.

Having postpartum OCD was one of the most painful, challenging times of my life, but I am so grateful it happened to me. Now that I am on the other side, I can see that I needed to experience that difficult time in order to get to where I am today. If you are someone who is experiencing or has experienced postpartum OCD, there may be a reason for the experience that you don’t know yet. I know how hard it is to suffer from postpartum OCD, but it is possible to heal and come out on the other side. I am so thankful that I lived through that experience and am able to be a better person.