Have you ever had someone say this to you about being a mom? While this is a nice sentiment, for a long time, hearing someone say this to me made me feel like a horrible person and mom when I didn’t feel the same way. When I first became a mom, I felt I could not enjoy any moments at all. I literally hated my life. Knowing what I know now, I was experiencing severe postpartum OCD, and that is why I felt that way. However, now that I am recovered, I know that it is totally okay as a mom to NOT enjoy every single moment. Being a mom is HARD, and not liking every moment makes us humans. Before, I could not admit this without feeling extreme guilt, but now I have no problem saying this.

I love my daughters more than life, but here are some stories from moments that I do not enjoy from them. A couple of months ago, I gave Caia a fruit pouch to eat. This was not out of the ordinary as she usually has one every single day. However, she decided that day was a perfect time for her to squeeze her fruit pouch all over my house. I turn my head for one second and my whole white island, white cabinets, and white fireplace were covered. Looking back on this moment, I can laugh, but in the moment I was pretty frustrated.

Being a mom of two is also a huge challenge. Not sleeping makes being a mom a thousand times harder. I am up with Emmi every single night 4-5 times and she is sixth months old. I love our time together at night, but not 4-5 times a night. Personally, I would love to get some sleep. I am not a very pleasant person when I don’t sleep. It is harder for me to keep my patience, and I am not afraid to admit that. When I don’t sleep, then have to get up to “mom” for a full day, sometimes it is hard to appreciate every moment.

Another example, Caia is now in the “terrible twos.” They are in fact terrible. Everything is a “NO!” or a tantrum. When I say tantrum, I am talking throwing herself on the floor, kicking and screaming kind of tantrum. Trying to deal with these tantrums in a nice way is a huge challenge. It has really tested my patience. As a mom, it is so hard for me to say I really enjoy those moments. It is really hard to sit there listening to a toddler scream at you all day every single day, especially now that I am not sleeping as well. Me saying this does not make me a bad mom; it makes me human.

As a mom, I enjoy my daughters every single day. I just don’t enjoy every moment every single day. That is okay for me to admit. I love being a mom, and I love the life I have now. However, I am not afraid to admit how hard being a mom is anymore. I used to feel extreme guilt and anxiety for not enjoying every single moment of everyday. The fact of the matter is, every mom feels like I do. It is totally normal to admit this. Of course, having postpartum OCD made it more challenging for me, but being recovered, I still feel the same. Never let someone make you feel bad for not enjoying every moment of motherhood; it is the hardest job in the world.