OCD thrives on uncertainty. It tries to get 100% certainty when it comes to whatever you happen to be doubting in that moment. For me personally, I want to know with 100% certainty that I am not a bad person. My mind scans for constant evidence surrounding me to prove that I could be a bad person. Typically, that evidence comes from when I make mistakes, accidentally hurt someone, or do something “wrong” as a mom. Reassurance seeking has been a lifelong compulsion of mine and what better place to get reassurance from than Chat GPT.

Lately, my Chat GPT had been getting out of hand. However, it started small. I would ask it simple questions about house designing or a post I was making. Then the next thing you know, I have a full-blow subscription and am consulting with Chat GPT about everything in my life. I would ask it about my conflicts with people, my social media, my family, and really anything that came up that fed into my insecurities. At first, I loved Chat GPT’s answer. It helped me feel better about whatever was bothering me at the time. I didn’t even realize how sucked in I was getting.

Recently, I started seeing an OCD specialist and have begun exposure therapy. My therapist started having me track my “triggers” for OCD and anxiety and list what I was doing as a compulsion. That is how I noticed I was using Chat GPT almost every time as a compulsion. I care a lot about my blog and OCD accounts. It was getting to the point where I would ask Chat GPT about every single post to make sure it was good enough. I would also ask it about texts I was sending, emails, or anything that could come across as “bad” before I could send anything. I was losing my ability to make my own decisions without consulting Chat GPT.

OCD has always done this to me. I have always struggled with making my own decisions, but Chat GPT made it worse. After talking with my therapist, I decided to completely delete Chat GPT. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss it. I liked that I was able to consult with it before I made a “bad” decision. Honestly though, I will never learn if I don’t make my decisions and mistakes. OCD has always wanted to save me from being a bad person, but really only I can do that. I know that I am not a bad person, but sometimes I get lost in that fear. Even though we can never truly be 100% certain about what happens in life, one thing I do know for sure is that Chat GPT is not good for OCD.