Life Behind the Photos of Managing a Toddler
Before I was a mom, I was a middle school teacher. Managing a class of 28 sixth graders was so much easier than trying to manage a three year old toddler. One toddler tantrum is like three of my classes put in one. I was not expecting it or prepared for it. Caia is also the sweetest little girl and brings me so much joy, but when she has a meltdown, it can get ugly. Of course, like everyone else, I post the sweet pictures of my girls, but people don’t see the behind the scenes of my life with a toddler. That’s why I think it is important we are honest about parenthood and share the good AND the bad because that would make moms feel less alone. Here are some wild stories with my life with a toddler.
When Emmi was first born, I thought they would be instant besties, so not true. The truth was Caia was/is still really jealous and has had a hard adjustment to being a big sister. They have a sweeter relationship now, but it was and can be a little rough at times. I remember one day Emmi was sleeping in her bouncer peacefully, Caia got angry and threw a toy across the room. Low and behold it slammed Emmi right in the side of her head. She instantly started screaming. I felt like a horrible mom for not catching that, but honestly how could I have predicted that would happen? I couldn’t even explain to Caia what she did was wrong because she had just turned two and was still learning to deal with her big emotions.
More recently, Caia destroyed my whole bathroom. I try to workout four-five days a week. (That is a huge challenge because I have to do it with both Emmi and Caia, so I am lucky if I can complete a full workout). One time I was working out, and I didn’t hear a peep from Caia. Silence usually means something bad is happening. I paused my workout and found Caia in her bathroom with baby oil all over the place. I was stunned. Caia just smiled at me. I had to just go sit on my couch for a minute to regroup. Cleaning that was quite a task.
Another recent toddler sister moment that got me happened last week. Caia, Emmi, and I were playing in Caia’s room, and Caia asked me for a snack. I got up to go get it, and was not gone long. In the time I was getting a snack, I heard a huge crash followed by crying. Caia came running out of her room informing me that she needed to go to time out. I asked her why, and she told me that she had “pushed Emmi.” Not kidding, I was gone for 30 seconds. Apparently, a lot of toddler drama can happen within that time.
I also can’t forget the toddler meltdowns. Everything turns into a meltdown. When I say meltdown, I’m talking a full-on toddler tantrum with kicking and screaming. They can happen at any time and any place. The best is when it happens in public. Recently, I took Caia and Emmi to see the Easter Bunny at our local mall. I obviously posted the cute pictures of them sitting with the Easter Bunny, but what social media didn’t see was the giant meltdown Caia had before and after because we didn’t do what she wanted. When this happens, I just have to sit there calm, even though I try not to cry. I can’t control her in those moments, and I have learned to accept it.
Life with a toddler and baby is not easy. There is a lot of tantrums, crying, regulation of big emotions, and trying to embrace moments I can’t control. I don’t want everyone to this that toddler life is perfect like social media can portray, especially after what I went through with postpartum OCD. What I have learned is that every toddler mom has been where I am, and I have to laugh during these hard times because otherwise I will cry. No matter how hard my days are, I still am so thankful for the life I have now because I am able to be alone with my daughters. Even with the hard times, I am still the happiest I have ever been with my two beautiful, sweet daughters.