Sometimes It Takes Time to Find the Right SSRI
I switched from Lexapro to Zoloft in October after being on Lexapro for three years. I was having anxiety creep back up, so my doctor mentioned a break from Lexapro would be good for me. At first, the change was really hard. I remember when first dealing with postpartum OCD, trying to figure out which SSRI worked for me was scary. Even though I was stronger this time, I still had side effects. They were actually the same as it was the first time I tried Zoloft three years ago. I couldn’t sleep, had restless leg syndrome, and my anxiety was pretty high. Luckily, I made it through this time without hiding any “weapons” in my house.
Once I made it through the side effects, Zoloft started to be decent for me. I have heard that it is better for OCD than Lexapro. At first I did feel that way. When I stopped increasing the dose, I stayed with 100 mg. My anxiety seemed to improve. About a month ago, I just noticed I did not feel like myself at all. My anger was back full force. I had zero patience when it came to my girls. I remember one day hiding in my closet, crying over not being able to handle my toddlers. That was not me at all. For some reason, I failed to recognize the Zoloft might be contributing to my symptoms. To be honest, I couldn’t tell that Zoloft was doing anything for me. Overall, I felt like a much angrier person and still with anxiety. I am no longer a fan of Zoloft.
After this happened, I realized I needed a change. I had a doctor appointment with my PCP. I switched back to Lexapro, and I mean this when I say it; I have never been happier. I feel like myself again, and I couldn’t be more grateful. My dose is 10 mg right now, and that seems to be great, fingers crossed. I am much more patient with my girls, can manage my anger 100% better, and I am able to laugh so much more. It has been great. I didn’t even have any side effects switching back to Lexapro. My doctor told me I might do better since I had taken a break, and she was right. The only thing I will say with Lexapro I don’t like, is that I have crazy vivid dreams that feel extremely real. Other than that, I feel like I am back.
In a way, I am glad I had the last six months to do that trial with Zoloft. I now know for certain that Lexapro is what works for me, and I don’t intend to change. Truly, I don’t like who I was when I was on Zoloft. I like who I am much better when I am on Lexapro. Honestly, I wish I could have found Lexapro before I was even pregnant. I am just the type of person who needs to be on an SSRI, and that is okay. If you are someone who is struggling with SSRI’s, you are not alone. It takes some time to figure out which one works for you. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right SSRI.